The Fickle Farm
by Cellophane Flowers
Summary: This picks up where The Grim Grotto left off, with the Baudelaires riding away in Kit Snicket's taxi. It's kind of fluffy at first, but will get more serious later on. Review!


1**Author's Note: Hello everybody! 'Tis me again! This my first ever ASOUE fic, and I tried my best to make it flow with the style of the most talented Lemony Snicket. Of course, no one can truly master the art of woeful humor as well as he does, but I'm doing my best. This picks up right where The Grim Grotto left off, when the Baudelaires are getting into Kit's taxi at Briny Beach. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Yay! I actually managed to remember to write one of these! I'm so proud of myself... Anyway, I don't own A Series of Unfortunate Events, nor do I own any of the characters involved with it. Lemony Snicket / Daniel Handler owns them. -sigh- But I don't care about any of the rest of them... if only I could own Klaus. -melts into a puddle of hopeless fangirlness-**

_**Chapter One**_

Violet and Klaus settled into the backseat of the taxi, Sunny lodged uncomfortably between them. The youngest Baudelaire was apparently not pleased with the difficult seating arrangement.

"Squish!" she complained quietly as Kit Snicket started the vehicle. Klaus looked down at his little sister and smiled faintly.

"Sorry, Sunny. I suppose we didn't realize how much you've grown," he explained in an undertone. It was true. The elder Baudelaires had forgotten that their little sister was not a tiny infant anymore, but a little girl who was a bit too large to squeeze into such a small area of seat. She was, however, still young and small enough to sit comfortably on her brother's lap, Klaus noted rather happily as he placed her there.

It took a moment for the children to realize that Kit was staring intently at them in the mirror. Violet fidgeted uncomfortably and Sunny gave her a very strange look, as if to say, "What is it, Miss Snicket?" But Kit seemed oblivious to Sunny's unspoken inquiry, so Klaus stepped in, a phrase which here means 'asked Kit out loud the same question'.

"What is it, Miss Snicket?" Klaus inquired. Sunny smiled in gratitude. Kit blinked.

"You three look very much like your parents. It is difficult not to stare," Kit replied, but not in the cool, business-like way she had earlier spoken with. Her voice seemed far-away and wistful, as though she were trying desperately to grab hold of some fond but fading memory.

"I'm afraid we don't quite understand what you mean," Violet said hesitantly, glancing at her siblings in confusion. They both looked equally unsure. Kit sighed and smiled slightly.

"I miss them both very much, and would give almost anything to see them again The sight of three young people who so closely resemble them is nearly as wonderful as seeing your parents themselves," Kit answered fondly, the small smile still lightly on her lips. The Baudelaires knew this was a time for silence, and even Sunny, who was beginning to become quite talkative, closed her mouth, and relaxed in the quietness.

They looked up to see that Kit was no longer staring at them, but had her eyes focused completely on the dirt road in front of them. What they could not see were the tears glistening in those eyes. Even so, the Baudelaires sensed somehow that they could trust Kit Snicket, and that she was not an enemy. This was an enormous assumption, for the Baudelaires had only known Kit for a few minutes, and yet they felt that while they were with her no harm would come to them.

It was a peaceful countryside to drive through, the children observed, green and full of pleasant pastures with sheep, cows, and horses roaming and grazing.

"Bovine," Sunny murmured, and she laid her head gently against Klaus's chest. A yawn escaped her tiny rosebud lips and her eyelids fluttered a moment in denial of sleep, until they closed at once, giving in to the need for rest. Violet and Klaus had lovingly watched her sink into sleep and when they glanced up at each other they realized that they, too were yawning. It had been quite some time, after all, since they had last slept. So, while the taxi drove in perfect silence along the country lane, the elder Baudelaires rested their heads against the seat and fell asleep, taking comfort in the hope that wherever Kit Snicket was taking them, it would no doubt lead to the one place they had yet to find since the death of their parents: home.

It is my fondest wish that you will set down this story right now, and in doing so prevent yourself from having to hang your clothing out on a line to dry the tears from them. For even though I would dearly love to end the tale here, and leave the reader to fashion himself a happy ending of his own, and imagine that the Baudelaires' misfortune was only a thing of the past, an unpleasant memory that they had abandoned completely when they drove away from Briny Beach that morning, never to encounter tragedy again in their lives, that would defeat the purpose of my writing this in the first place.

That purpose is to tell the Baudelaires' sad tale the way it happened, down to every last shred of unpleasantness. It is a job I now regret having undertaken, as it has caused me many nights of desperately weeping and researching hopeless fires. However, I intend to maintain this woeful task, and so I must now tell you of the unfortunate event that next occurred, jolting the peacefully slumbering Baudelaires out of their sweet dreams.

The taxi stopped short, a phrase which here means 'screeched to a halt, causing Sunny to tumble ungracefully off of Klaus's lap'. He bent and retrieved Sunny from where she had fallen, and set her in Violet's arms. The Baudelaires craned their necks to see what was going on in front of the vehicle. It was now very dark, as the Baudelaires had unknowingly slept all day.

"What happened?" Klaus asked, leaning around Kit's seat to look at the scene before them. A tall, balding man was standing in front of the taxi, grinning toothily, a word which here means 'with many teeth missing or gruesomely discolored'. He was holding a pitchfork in one hand and a rake in the other, like a farmer of some sort. The man was dressed in ripped and torn blue overalls, and an absurdly large straw hat. But it was not the fact that it was so incredibly large that made the Baudelaires gape with horror, but the fact that there was an unmistakable picture of an eye painted on it.

"Olaf!" Violet cried.

"He's found us again!" Klaus wailed.

"Straw hat!" Sunny yelped.

Kit didn't seem worried at all, though, and this frightened the Baudelaires more than anything else. She merely smiled and said, "Olaf? No, of course not. That's our new hired hand at the farm, Tom Hickabilly. There's nothing for you to worry about."

But the Baudelaires knew as they watched Olaf approach the side door, still grinning toothily, that they had quite a lot to worry about indeed.

Well, wasn't it lovely? I hope it wasn't too bad... I am a big fan of ASOUE, so I hope I got it right! -waves Klaus flag- Huzzah, and have a scone! -projects scones in your general direction- Please review!


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